My New Year Newsletter

Here is the New Year's Newsletter I sent to family and friends today:

Happy New Year!!!

I wanted to send out photos and a Christmas newsletter this year, especially since so much has happened to our family this year, but I just could not get my act together. Anyway, better late than never, so here are the highlights for your reading enjoyment :) :

A has just been accepted into several Ph.D. programs in neuroscience, including USC. She wants to be a scientist. She graduated from Barnard College/Columbia University in 2004 with a degree in psychology and is working in a laboratory here at USC, where her research focus has something to do with the brain and epilepsy. This year, A published an article and several abstracts in scientific journals (she was the first author in these and second or third author in other papers) and presented her research at a scientific conference in Atlanta, Georgia in October. A’s 25^th birthday was yesterday, New Year’s Day.

K joined the Peace Corps in June 2006 and has had a very eventful time in El Salvador thus far. She’s been bitten by a bat (not rabid, thank goodness!), contracted the dengue fever and been hospitalized for 5 days and quarantined for an additional 5 days, gotten scabies from a local who sat on her mattress (these first three were in the span of three weeks!), and now has some kind of bacterial infection that has given her extreme gastrointestinal distress (I think you know what I mean). Her latest misadventure has to do with a mentally unbalanced stalker who threw a firecracker on the roof of her house on Christmas Day and almost burned it down. I want her to come home, but she won’t because she is committed to her work there. She works as a municipal developer, helping local government officials, in a mountain village with no hot running water. I want to visit her, but she says she’s afraid I will not survive two days there. I think she might be right. K graduated magna cum laude from Tufts University with a degree in International Relations in 2005. After her stint in the Peace Corps, K plans to attend law school.

S graduated three weeks ago (December 2006) from Carnegie Mellon University with a degree in Decision Sciences. He is currently interviewing for positions in the financial management field. After working for a few years and gaining work experience in the financial sector, S plans to go to business school for his MBA. He wants to be a money manager. He lives in Pittsburgh, where he spends a lot of time with his favorite uncle and aunt—P and T M****—and his cousins A and A.

I was accepted into a doctoral program at USC’s Rossier School of Education. I started last August. I love it, and of all the programs I have been in—English (undergrad), law, public health, and now education—this seems to be the best fit. I am very much interested in policy and higher education as well as student affairs, and I hope to eventually work in student affairs at a college or university. Oh, and I was in a fundraising calendar (Miss October!!!!) for my cancer support group, and also was bald for another cancer book (Turning Heads, 2006).

S (my ex-husband) is doing well, too. He spends most of his time in the Philippines and comes every two or three months to Los Angeles to visit our children. Once in a while, he brings the children to him. A returned on Christmas Day from a three week stay in the Philippines, where she stayed with her father and Grandma A, and K and S spent several weeks in Manila with their father early in 2006.

I feel very very blessed. My children are healthy, happy, and doing well. In February, I will be a 4-year cancer survivor. I think God has given me everything I have ever asked for! And I am very grateful and humbled. (though, unfortunately you can't tell from all the bragging I am doing here).

Anyway, here are a few photos of my family taken last year. It is difficult to get photos of all of us together, since we are scattered all over the United States and Central America. The one where we are all together was at Melinda’s house on S’s (their father’s) birthday. It was one of those hot sweltering summer nights, so we all look sweaty and tired, but I love this photo since we are rarely in the same city at the same time.

May you have a Prosperous and Happy New Year!!!!!

One hot summer night in 2006—S, K, J, and A

A and K with someone who is NOT S.

The handsome one on the right is S.

Happy New Year!!!!!

Rose Parade in My Hometown and Memories of January 1st Past

Gosh. I must be hormonal. I am sitting here (lying on the couch, actually) watching the Rose Parade and bawling my eyes out. I cried when the USC Marching Band marched through, and I REALLY cried when the band from New Orleans came on the tv. They were great. I kind of sniffled when the Michigan band shuffled by. Hey, what can I say? I'm a Trojan. I never ever thought I would say those words, but now that I'm going to school at USC, I'm starting to feel like a Trojan. Never mind that I've worked at USC for 3 years (not counting the year and a half I worked there before I got sick), never mind that I have two degrees from UCLA. Only after I got accepted into a program and the football season began did I begin to identify as a Trojan. Fight on!

Let's see what happens when basketball season begins. Go Bruins!

This is my second Rose Parade as a Pasadena resident. Last year, we had torrential storms. It was terrible. And this year, USC is playing in the Rose Bowl. (maybe they played last year, too, but I wasn't paying attention!). Anyway, as I was driving around doing my errands this week, I could see the preparations for the parade. Streets were closed off and bleachers started to go up, and two days ago, the RVs appeared. Yesterday, I was driving down Sierra Madre Villa and I could see people starting to mark out their territory with chairs, blankets, and mattresses. It was amazing.

I live where Sierra Madre and Sierra Madre Villa intersect (near Pasadena High School) and that is where the floats will end up at the end of today. I may go to see them today, although I remember once I tried to bring my children and was so turned off by all the traffic and distant parking that we only stayed for a few minutes. Also, in those days, there was no charge to look at the floats. I think that they now charge $7. That is not cool. Anyway, if I do decide to walk down the hill to see the floats, I will take some photos.

My oldest daughter's 25th birthday is today. Yes, she is a New Year's baby. That is why I don't really have any New Year's traditions. First of all, I went through 22 hours of labor with that child, a fact I never hesitate to remind her of when she is being a pain. AND I got stretchmarks from that pregnancy. And saggy boobs. But I digress.......

When she was younger, I spent most of December planning her January 1st birthday parties. We had some great parties for her when she was a baby. When A started going to middle school, none of her friends were in town to attend her birthday parties, so I moved her birthday party to April, just before the Easter break. By then, I was in school and usually recuperating from exams and Christmas shopping at the end of December.

I remember, after my first semester in law school, I was absolutely exhausted and came down with a very bad case of the flu. I had sent my children to stay with my parents when their school went on break and then proceeded to get very sick after Christmas. I hadn't seen my children for a few days, and was very broke. I remember A kept calling me and wanting to see me. Her birthday was approaching and I had $28 left in my account. I told her I would take her shopping when I felt stronger, but definitely would see her on her birthday. I picked her up and took her to Toys R Us. I told her she could pick whatever she wanted, but it couldn't be more than $25 because that was all the money I had. Anyway, my beautiful little girl and I went up and down the aisles and she picked all these little gifts for herself, most within the $2-6 range. She decided she wanted lots of little gifts instead of 1 big present. She would say, Mommy, is this okay? And I would say, yes, darling, we can get that, or no, darling if you get that, then we have to put another toy back. We ended up spending almost exactly $28. Later, on the drive back to my Mom's place, I looked at A and the happy expression on her face. I said, Are you happy, darling? And she said, yes, Mommy, I'm happy because I have so many presents and spent the day with you. Her response made me realize that all children want is time with their parents. It doesn't matter how much you spend, or even if you spend any money at all, what children really want is to be with their parents.

Another New Year's Day memory: I have never really been crazy about watching the Rose Parade and this is why: I was very very pregnant on New Year's Eve 1981. My husband owned a supermarket and the holidays were his busy season. Also, he was a very social man and we always had a relative or new employee staying in our home. Anyway, on New Year's Eve 1981, I was very tired and very large. My husband insisted that we take his cousin out that night to celebrate New Year's Eve in Century City. I resisted, but eventually reluctantly agreed. I felt miserable (remember, I was 9 months pregnant), and really wanted to be home in bed. We greeted 1982 with a lot of fanfare (though the pictures show that I looked less than thrilled to be up at midnight surrounded by strangers) and were home by 1 a.m. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, put on my nightgown, and went to bed and was asleep almost immediately. At 1:30 a.m., I heard/felt this "pop" sensation, felt a gush of water and thought, I can't even hold my pee anymore! I went to the bathroom and when I came out and looked at the sheets, saw that the "pee" was tinged with pink. I realized my water had broken and that soon I would be in labor and after that, couldn't sleep because I was so excited. My husband, on the other hand, couldn't be bothered to share my excitement and slept. At 5:30 I insisted he wake up and take me to the hospital, which he did at 10 miles per hour. I was a little annoyed with him.

But maybe he knew better, because I proceeded to have a very painful 22 hour labor. If I had known that my labor would be that long, I would have stayed in bed at home and done most of the work there. Instead, I lay in a hospital bed exhausted and wanting to sleep but not being able to because of the pain. My husband wasn't any help because he was hung over and tired, too. I remember feeling very put out because he wasn't being supportive. Instead, while I was writhing on the bed in pain, he and the nurse were sitting there, watching the Rose Parade and commenting on all the beautiful floats. That's why I've never been crazy about the parade.

After 10 hours, my husband disappeared and my mother appeared, rosary in hand. I had never seen this look of concern on her face, I got scared and thought I was going to die. In fact, I remember WANTING to die, because it hurt so bad. It didn't help that my mother was praying her novenas at my bedside. I really thought I was going to die. After about 20 hours, I was begging them to cut that child out of me.....I was willing to do it myself. I'd been up for almost two days and was exhausted. I just wanted it all to end. My doctor, the sainted Dr. Keith Russell, saw that I was pretty much at the end of my rope and said that if the baby didn't come out within the next two hours, he would look into doing a caesarean. Thank God my baby decided to finally make her appearance and she arrived at around 11:45, just under the 2 hour deadline.

Oh, but once I held that beautiful child in my arms and looked in her eyes, I was wide awake and very much in love with my baby. I will never ever forget that feeling of love and of awe.

I remember holding her and staring at her and singing to her for two weeks. It was a time filled with wonder. I could not believe that this tiny little human being had been in my tummy just a few hours/days before. A's nanny arrived when she was three weeks old, and she said that for the first six weeks that she was there, I didn't allow anyone to see my daughter, much less hold her. I don't remember that, but it must be true.

And so, New Year's Day is always a time of reflection for me. It is a time of new beginnings for me. I try to stay home and remember and be grateful for all the important things in my life, and think of what I would like to accomplish in the new year. Especially now, now that my children are grown and have their own friends and social lives, I feel melancholy and very nostalgic on New Year's Day. I think about how I could have been a better mother to my children, and how I will be a wonderful grandmother to their children, in the same way my mother was a wonderful grandmother.

I, probably like everyone else, always begin the new year full of hope. I'm filled with gratitude, too, both for the lessons and accomplishments of the past and for the opportunity to start anew. Each new year is a tabula rasa, and I hope that as I go through the year and my experiences are written in the book of life (NO, not this blog, the REAL Book of Life!), that those experiences will be worthy of being read and of the person that I hope to become.